The last five years have served as the bedrock of my life. They have shaped me into the person existence intended me to be, and I feel a profound confidence that my foundation is now built upon concrete rather than sand.It has been a true rollercoaster: a period of intense study, building lasting friendships, challenging my own long-held views, and surviving the weight of painful goodbyes. Through it all, one constant remained, I spent nearly ninety percent of my time in isolation. To a certain extent, I believe this solitude was a blessing. It allowed me to navigate and overcome insecurities that many struggle with for an entire lifetime. In the process, I have developed a thicker skin and have begun to master the subtle art of not giving a f*ck.
This journey traces back to the COVID-19 pandemic and the 21-day lockdown announced by the Indian government. At the time, I had just finished my high school examinations and was preparing for the next grade. That year, I struggled immensely with problems that, in hindsight, seem entirely foolish. The following year was defined by intense academic focus, and I finally achieved the grades I had always desired. However, the mental toll was significant; my brain felt “cooked,” and I began to experience a breakdown. I remember craving exciting friendships, hoping they would be the cure for my problems. While I still believe that friendships enhance our lives significantly, and that life without them is hardly living, the next three years were marked by confusion, illness, and a sense of being a vagabond.
During this period of wandering, I often reflected on the concepts of free will and determinism. Even while writing my first book, I remained in a state of deep confusion. Now, however, things are clarifying as I move forward. I often sense that many aspects of our lives are predestined; it sometimes feels as though we are living within a grand simulation. If I am being honest, I felt as though I did little to no “work” in writing my first book. Everything flowed automatically and at a smooth pace. Thoughts simply arrived, and I recorded them in my notebook.
Growing up, my mind was filled with stereotypes regarding specific communities, races, and genders. I was a victim of typical family brainwashing tactics, ideas that were disturbing and brought me a great deal of sorrow. As I gained more exposure to the world, I began to doubt these teachings, though the truth still felt far away. Now, I can say with complete assurance and credibility that I have reached a fundamental truth: good and bad exist everywhere and in every person. I have coincidentally met people from vastly different corners of the globe and realized they are just like me. They are good human beings who share the same liberal beliefs I once never thought possible.